ive had to deal w this argument before ok listen here
boobs do the oxytocin thing when theyre stimulated yes, nipples are an erogenous zone. Men’s nipples do this too. Now read over those two sentences and let the double standard dawn on you okay? Think about it if both kinds of nips release oxytocin when you do the touch touch on them, why is only one kind of nip considered a sexual nip? sexism that’s why
it’s ridiculous and technically makes a dude’s nipples more inappropriate than a lady’s nipples because boy nipples serve virtually no other purpose than to be stimulated by temperature change or by sexual activity, while girl nipples serve the added purpose of oh you know, feeding babies no big deal
but nah man nah both can be aroused so both nips are sexual or no nips are so make up your mind
you know where else is an erogenous zone?? ears. Are you wearing an ear bra/?? Why the fuck arent you wearing your fucking ear bra you trash put on yoourfucking ear bra youre not allowed to show your fucking ears thats so inappropriate and its makinng me horny its distracting me from my school work youre not following the dresscode wear your fucking ear bra yo ufucking
Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.
To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.
On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.
I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…
Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.
Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.
One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.
This is the best band post
Everyone else go home
Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this
which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,
that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that
Who does that?
This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.
More like Julius Fuckit
Pyrozod's tags for this were too hilarious not to share
What really gets me is the comment above the 8 fortes. Nichts für Lauwarmduscher - not for people who shower only lukewarm. Meaning no half measures here, guys.
What does the text over the 24 fortes say though
so i went to go get a drink and…
THERE IS A FURBY IN THE VENDING MACHINE
DO YOU THINK THIS IS SOME SORT OF GAME
This is the US today.
It IS illegal.
So’s murder and hate crimes, and they’ll get away with all of it.
Don’t even need armed vigilantes wearing hoods like the KKK when you got the Ferguson PD with their shades and no name tags. God bless AmeriKKKa.
What would have once sounded like a “far-fetched feminist fantasy” – women forming the majority of a parliament – is a reality in Rwanda.
In fact, women are making gains throughout Africa, but these achievements have been met with a loud silence from the western feminist movement.
It seems that in the US, we’re still talking about Rwanda like it’s 1994.
open the doop, get on the floop. everybody walk the dinosoop
What happens to cats in zero gravity ? more educational gifs«
OH GOD THOSE POOR BABIES i am sobbing i am laughing so hard
In the last pic the cat is all “oh thank god I found ground NO WAIT COME BACK GROUND”
THOSE POOR BABIES OMG WHY AM I LAUGHING AT THIS
Pigeons are even funnier in zero g, they don’t know which way is up and fly upside down
has anyone posted this yet because this is pure gold
Thank you, Matilda.
too little too late
my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe
We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.
First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.
“A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.”
This was a good start.
We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.
“Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—”
“Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.”
“You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?”
He frowned. “Who doesn’t?”
“Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?”
He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?”
We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.”
He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.”
“But I’m not.”
“Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—”
“Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?”
He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.”
We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?”
“Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.”
“We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.”
“You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.
“They’re your children too!" I screamed back.
He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!”
“Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—”
“I want a divorce!”
And he walked out of the classroom.
The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.”
I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.
holy shit that’s glorious